Some say it’s in a woman’s best interest to hide her attraction to a guy. Would you say that’s true because if do you agree, you might be misreading a woman which can have a long-lasting negative affect in actually creating attraction, understanding women, and why they do the things they so beautifully do.
There as a time where I too believed women were actually keeping their attraction a secret from me and oddly enough, finding out I was wrong was one of the BEST days of my life. Keep reading and I promise to tell you why and what it meant to my “dating” life.
Here’s the truth and it’s coming at you hard because I want to spare you a world of hurt.
Sure – generally speaking it IS in a woman’s best interest to not pursue a guy. Women are always taught to NEVER chase a guy. I’ve advised and talked to many of them who would rather die alone and single to ever make the first move or ask a guy out.
She (or they) can be a little coy like when you’re confident and cocky and say things like,
“Ha! You like me. I’m surprised you’re not my number one stalker by now. What’s taking you so long? Afraid of a little competition?”
To which she replies in the cute little way my wife always does with a sly cocky smile herself,
When it comes to flirting, sexually playing, pursuing, teasing – you know the fun little games men and women who LIKE each other do play – YES, she’s going to ACT like she doesn’t “want” it but that is not HIDING it at all. Not even in the slightest bit.
Here it is:
It’s literally impossible for a woman to hide her attraction to a guy no matter how hard she tries AND it’s NOT in her best interest so why would she even try.
The signs or signals or clues or whatever you want to call them are ALWAYS there.
Okay before I get you too depressed it does happen but they are the absolute exceptions to this “rule” and although I can’t think of them all it still means their are only a few.
- High school girls. Could be a lack of confidence. Could be a lack of understanding of how it all works. Mostly it’s towards a guy who she doesn’t feel good enough for and can not believe a guy like “that” would like her back – BUT once the interaction starts – again IMPOSSIBLE for her to hide it.
- At Work. She may secretly like a guy in another department or even her boss and it’s in her career’s interest to maybe not pursue it BUT again, once the real interactions start – the signs are ALWAYS there.
- I’m not sure there is a number 3 but you have every right to add one in the comment section below and if it’s cool, I’ll add it to the list. Promise.
In the now famous words of David DeAngelo, “Attraction Isn’t A Choice”
(Who by the way wrote the book on attraction and that is my affiliate link so please if you want to fully understand attraction and women, it will be the best twenty three dollars you’ve ever spent.)
What those words mean and how it relates to the “best day of my dating life” and why it has so much to do with the question of women HIDING their attraction is coming…
Imagine if you would, although as in my case you don’t have to imagine something you’re already experiencing or been through – that you really want some woman BUT you’re not sure she’s into you.
But just by chance you actually do something or tell her how you’re feeling and you get rejected hard. Banished to the friends zone or blatantly sent away holding your tail or in this case “dick” between your legs.
If you’re at all in the same mindset I was – you come up with a ton of excuses all centered around the belief the she does want you but for some reason she is either hiding it OR choosing not to feel something because of some stupid social thing going on. (Like maybe you’re not rich enough, good-looking enough, dumb enough, you’re too nice, etc…)
However since Attraction is NOT a choice – that could not possibly be true. The truth is she’s NOT feeling it and she’s trying to spare YOUR feelings or in some bad cases – get you away from her as quickly as possible.
Here are some more common examples:
You catch a girl staring at you and when you start talking to her she acts like she wasn’t and blows you off. Was she hiding it? Nope! She was probably looking at something else, staring into space you were occupying, or caught in some fantasy and you woke her up.
You’re good close friends with a girl and it feels like you’re always flirting. It feel like you really connect with her and so, over time, you FINALLY say something and tell her how you feel (hoping she’ll say it back) and all you get is the classic, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to ruin the friendship.” (This was my biggie by the way.)
Is your friend in that case hiding it? NOPE! No woman in her right mind who has been pining over her good or best friend, would ever turn down a guy she’s into that much. It just doesn’t happen. She wasn’t hiding it. She didn’t want to keep her secret safe. She just isn’t feeling ATTRACTED to you and want to let you down easy.
(Sorry, it sucks. I hear and feel you.)
Maybe you’re good friends and always flirting but for some reason when you get too close, she pulls away. You hang out a lot and she’s always contacting you… But is she hiding her attraction, hoping and waiting you’ll make a move?
How about when you meet a woman who is a little shy around OTHER guys but not you. You’re quickly thinking there must be a reason for it. She doesn’t talk to you like those “other” men. Maybe she’s hiding it because she’s shy and you like the fact she’s a little shy and it feels good that she’s telling you things she wouldn’t DARE tell anyone else. She MUST be feeling attracted to you, right?
If she’s opening up to you that easily, sharing all her thoughts especially about what she wants from men or what she struggles with in life AND she feels absolutely no reservations about telling you exactly what’s on her mind…
She’s even LESS likely to be hiding her attraction because it’s just NOT there.
You see most real women can not hide their attraction BUT they are extremely good at not doing stupid stuff like blowing it with a guy they are attracted to which to lots of men, feels like they’re keeping it a secret. But in reality – they will withhold information from guys they’re totally into because like you, they don’t want to blow it with you.
The sad news here is – IF she’s telling you things which feels like she opening up, too much information, past history about men, or anything which make you like her less – then she’s NOT worried at all if you like her or else she’d be smart enough to withhold that information until a later date.
(Sure some women do blow it here but it’s usually when they’re already on a date or something like that and if she’s already on date with you, then she certainly is interested and feelings something. Or else she would not have agree to it – well except for the free meal I suppose. By the way, the secret to avoid that happening to you is to never take a woman on a dinner date. Boom, problem solved.)
Which brings me to the next point – deeper emotional feelings for a guy.
When is woman is feeling something like a deep attraction for a guy, AND they’re dating – IF she’s not sure how the guy feels about HER – then of course she’ll be totally hesitant about revealing it until the guy says it.
BUT those are typically RELATIONSHIP feelings and her questioning whether you’re feeling them too. She’s just not sure what you want from her. She’ll think things like,
“Does he just want to have sex with me?” , “Is he just looking for a one-night stand?” , “Is he looking for a girlfriend, wife, a commitment?” , “Why can’t I figure out what this guy wants from me?” , “Is he really attracted to me?” etc…
Yet again – if she’s on a date with you she’s not hiding her attraction. In fact just her thinking like that makes it even HARDER for her to hide her attraction. Quite literally IMPOSSIBLE.
She’s just trying to withhold her feelings of wanting something more with you UNTIL she’s sure you’re feeling the same way.
Let’s go back to the beginning here and get into why this is good news for you and why learning that women are not hiding their attraction became the BEST day of my dating life.
Starting with me – once I realized nothing was being hidden, that attraction isn’t a choice, how women could not hide it no matter how hard they tried…
- I stopped wasting my time on friendships that would never turn into something more.
- I got out of my head and started paying better attention to the subtle hints and clues which happen when a woman IS feeling attraction. (Something you’ll learn below.)
- I stopped thinking or believing that just because a woman is opening up to me or talking to me differently than she does with other guys, that it meant she was attracted to me – because 99% of the time, it just wasn’t true.
AND then, with this little magical piece of advice, as from a favorite Seinfeld episode of mine, “This is pure gold, Jerry. Pure gold!”
Stop looking around for signals from women that they’re “interested” in you. Stop CARING whether or not a particular woman is interested in you.
Instead, start TRIGGERING the interest, and watching to see if women ENGAGE. If they do, then assume that IT’S ON!
Finally – knowing all that and studying the HOW to make the triggering happen – it was like someone gave me CONTROL.
No more wondering, guessing, or sadly hoping I was right and she “really really did like me”.
No more wasting my time pining over women when nothing was there because I was positive without a doubt, that if I didn’t create it from the first interaction, it probably wasn’t there anyways.
It was like I had left behind all my failures with women, my past was clearly IN the past… leaving me with an unlimited amount of women in my future which could be easily brought to my present.
Granted my words are not perfect today.
Maybe today’s post isn’t the answer you were looking for.
Maybe you came by just hoping you were wrong and that hot girl you’ve had your eye on was hiding her attraction and you’d feel empowered to make a real move on her after reading it…
But hopefully for a few of you and possibly more…
TODAY is the start of something better and exciting very similar to what I experienced so long ago (shit I am getting old).
Now it’s your turn…
Get out of your head and start paying attention to all the subtle clues women WILL give you when they’re feeling attracted to you and know, without a doubt they ARE there because YOU CREATED THEM!
- Actions (What she does that indicates her interest obviously)
- Words (what she says to you)
- Body language (what she does that indicates her interest subtly)
Please, if this is you, if anything you take away from all this today…
STOP wasting your time on friendships and hoping she likes you for whatever reasons you might believe that she’s hiding it from you. Take it from a guy who spent almost a decade and a half of his life in many different “friend zones” with women. They were not hiding anything from me. They just didn’t like me “that way”.
Feel empowered yourself. Start taking action. Get control over these issues once and for all.
It’s not really in a woman’s best interest to hide her attraction AND it’s practically impossible for her to keep it a secret. There are plenty of “tells” and hints she gives up to an including how she responds and reacts to what you’re doing that is causing them.
She’s not choosing to feel something or not. Just like you don’t look at a woman and think, “Hmmm maybe I feel attracted to her.” You either are or you’re not. Plain and simple. Learn everything you can about attraction, how to create it, and more in the famous (best $23 you’ll ever spend in your dating life) Ebook and bonuses – Attraction Isn’t A Choice.
Yes, women may withhold information about her feelings for a relationship with with a guy until she’s sure he want the same thing but this only happens when you’re dating her or on a date where it’s obvious there’s a good reason she’s on that date with you. The attraction part is not in question here.
Okay, there are exceptions and again you’re more than welcome to tell your story below or add on to the list BUT they are just that – rare exceptions not always worth the time and effort exploring for today’s purpose of believing a woman is hiding her attraction.
Finally – asking this question about a friend of yours almost always means she’s not feeling it and you are “just friends”. More than likely, astronomical odds are that unless you start doing something different with her – she does not or will not feel anything more. She’s not hiding it from you because really, what would either of you have to benefit from being so close together, single, so connected, and yet not be willing to let the secret out.
Thanks for stopping by. Hope I’ve over-delivered the answer you were looking for and if not, let me know below. Make sure you sign up below for more great attraction like this and beyond which can be mailed to you – no more searching, the answers will just show up in your inbox.