Have you ever noticed how some people get things handed to them? They didn’t even want it but somehow it landed right in their lap.
This goes with everything from a better job, more money, to yes… even an attractive girlfriend.
This led me to believe that if you want something bad enough life will not just hand it over.
It doesn’t work that way.
I had my eyes on this girl once but in order to see her I had to “double date” with her friend.
“Great…” I thought. “Just another hurdle to overcome.”
Yeah but little did I know her friend was cuter, hotter, and was all over me within a few hours.
Apparently – I was being set up but I’m totally cool with it because you know what, that’s the way life works sometimes.
When you least expect it the cute quiet girl in the corner is checking you out.
When you least expect it (because you’re too busy enjoying yourself with a friend), her friend went home and took care of herself with YOU in her mind.
When you least expect it, life will grab you by the balls and say “Take me now!”
I’m not going to talk to you about being prepared. We’ll leave that for another time. I’m sure you already know that deal anyways.
I want to remind you to take the blinders off.
To see the big picture.
And in the big picture that center of attention is you.
It’s the ONE thing in life you DO have control over.
It’s the ONE thing in life guaranteed to you at birth.
Chances are – no matter where you are, who you’re with, how much money you make, how bad or good you feel…
When you wake up you’re you.
Now I know that sounds all “new age” or “holistic” or whatever you want to call it.
But it’s a fact.
You dream in your own head.
Your thoughts are all your own and no one has the right to enter your mind. And no one can climb inside you and be you – ever.
You own it man!
Until the day you die. It’s your gift. It’s your right.
You can either allow yourself to enjoy it or learn to hate it.
No one can make that choice for you entirely.
So why not enjoy every second of it.
I hear ya.
“Yeah yeah Pete – How is this going to let me have my freedom to attract?”
Well hey, I just gave you every reason to do the stuff you love.
I just gave you a glimpse on how to solve the “approval seeking” nonsense I know for a fact any “nice guy” struggles with overcoming.
Even if say you don’t need “her” approval I bet it’s in you.
Because women (all women) can not resist doing it themselves.
If you truly lacked every bit of approval seeking motion in your body – women will be drawn to you in every available way.
The key point to all this is, and why learning to not seek her approval is practically impossible, is since no one can enter your mind it also means they can not control how you feel about yourself.
It’s physically impossible.
That’s how you rid this approval thing.
You don’t do it by trying to not let her get to you or make you do stupid shit.
You get it by knowing without a doubt not one woman has the right to be inside your mind.
I picked this up, please read it carefully…
“Part of our needs as humans is to get validation along the way to assure us and make us feel approved of. We sought this validation and approval from our parents and peers when we were children, and we never really let go of that need when we had to “grow up.
Limit the amount of approval you need from other people. You can’t worry too much about what other people think about you. It’s easy to go through life seeking approval and never really accomplish anything because you’re trying to please everyone. You can’t, and it’s a belief that you must leave behind.
What this means for you in dating is that you need to be able to communicate, through subtle and not-so-subtle methods, that you do not need her approval. A woman will not feel attracted to a man if she feels she has power over his sense of self-esteem.
How do you communicate this?
One way is to find and pursue your own personal interests. This can be as simple as a hobby or a sport interest, like swimming or weight training.
The best way you can demonstrate your independence is to have goals outside of a relationship. Having a personal direction or mission is immensely attractive for a woman. It shows women that you have a life outside of pursuing them.
Hint at a depth they need to explore.
The more you seek approval and validation, the more it will elude you.”
It IS your ticket to freedom with women.
That’s how, when you follow this whole nice guy approach I love telling you about…
Life (and women) will give you a ride you’ll never want to get off.
Life (and women) will grab you by your “snarleys” and say, “Take me NOW!”
The nice guy’s approach is in part about ridding yourself of any and all of this approval seeking thing.