First dates can be endless “peeks” or looks into the attractive minds of nice men and women.
While he’s on his best behavior and she’s putting up her best guard there’s always someone else listening the day after…
Recently that was me.
He thinks I’m going to write about how SHE performed but not today man. I have a perspective you’ll never see coming. Kind of like a foul ball which accidentally crosses your path.
Let’s see if I can get my point across without a hitch.
First dates are notoriously nerve wracking which is probably a good reason we get stuck meeting a persona until someone steps up and makes a real connection.
The persona a man might project is typically nice and I don’t mean just opening doors.
It can include everything from to wanting to pay, bringing a gift, setting up the entire evening, to the constant barrage of boring questions and lame jokes being pushed on her.
We do it because it’s the nice thing to do – but is it really that nice?
My mind’s telling me something different.
I feel it’s only confusing the issue of what being nice is all about.
The end result being a misunderstanding which goes so deep it’s often hard to realize the real truth behind it all.
For longer than I’ve been around any nice guy who’s been hurt or rejected way too often assumes women don’t want a nice guy.
I mean when you think about it the connection is there…
He treats her nicely and she doesn’t respond sexually, when it happens over and over again it’s all too easy to conclude that fact.
It’s hard to see it any other way, isn’t it?
You don’t see a bunch of womanizing jerks out there NOT getting the girl.
If he ( the womanizing jerks that is) were not given the opportunity well then how could they possibly succeed womanizing in the first place, right?
Which is why we must think begin to think differently.
We must change the definition of nice to something we all can agree on – that actually does sexually attract all sorts of women.
On that first date some would say he was everything but nice.
And wouldn’t you know it she ended up kissing him uncontrollable at the end of the evening.
So what really IS nice to women when there’s a date involved?
What’s nicer to her – owning up to who you are or playing a good guy because you think it’ll help you get laid?
I see it this way.
Making her FEEL attracted to you, especially while on a date – IS actually the nicest thing you can do to a woman.
That’s MY definition of being nice.
Think about this.
What if you treat like her a princess and walk her home ending a perfectly good evening but you fail to spark some chemistry or even a fair amount of attraction.
She then closes her door and considers what happened…
She met just another good guy who doesn’t do it for her.
She met another guy who got her to smile a little but couldn’t get her “ummmm” wet.
She suddenly feels less attractive herself.
She may even feel depressed because she’s not meeting the men she REALLY wants and pines for.
She may even call her girlfriend to bitch about her dating life.
Or worse yet, text some guy she hates (but can’t keep away from) because she wants to feel something before she goes to sleep – alone again.
I’m saying STOP TRYING TO BE SO FREAKING NICE because you’re not being nice to her and because IF you are a nice guy, she’ll get it without any trying on your part at all.
Sure you’re not being an ass or a total jerk but that should go without saying – unless that’s you of course.
She wants to leave you feeling something more than she did in the beginning.
And believe me I don’t care who you are that’s pretty easy to do.
You WANT to give her something besides a gift or a free night out… leave her wanting more!!!!
Leave her like you know it’s just the first date and you’re not going to bow down to her majesty.
Let her wonder when and if you’re going to kiss her.
And please do NOT give in to her every demand as small as the may seem to be. Let her work for you or it just a little harder so it makes it worth the thrill and challenge of it all.
The definition of being nice with regards to dating and sex of course is not what you think.
If you’re a decent person you shouldn’t have to even worry about that kind of stuff.
I mean it’s not like you’re going to throw her food on the floor or scream at the people around you. Yeah that’s probably not that nice.
Women DO want a nice guy but to them – it’s the nicest guy in the world who knows how to make her feel like she’s the most attractive girl in the world, isn’t it?
And you don’t do that by over-complimenting, accommodating her every wish – wearing you heart on your sleeve – putting up a false persona – putting too much pressure on the date – or letting her looks, nice ass, of even large breasts have you dying to her in her pants…
We don’t want to over-complicate this issue.
Sure you have to know how chemistry works and how to leave her wanting more but one thing at a time man. Take it step by step.
Change your definition of being nice to something which will help you tap into ALL her desires as a female being.
It’s the “nicest” thing you can do for yourself, and it’s something she will appreciate you more for – and who knows maybe she’ll want more of you too.