"Reasons for failing with women #21: Your Ex Girlfriend Was A Bitch And You Constantly Talk About Her – You Don’t Know How To Let Things Go And You’re Constantly Blaming Women and Others For Your Problems."
I've never had a REAL ex-girlfriend that I would complain about, (take note to the word "real" because that's not for now) however... I do know lots of guys who have made some really bad decisions dating certain women, or gone where they probably shouldn't have gone, and they got hurt, abused, and treated like shit.
Hey, we all make mistakes and that's okay but it can become a "real" problem when it turns into something more.
If you let it get to you negatively and allow those feelings to dictate how you act around other women, you're going to find yourself failing with women constantly.
Second dates won't come your way and you're guaranteed even more drama is in your future as like-minded women will happily complain with you about their ex.
This is big time.
Constantly complaining to a woman you are attracted to and/or plan to date about your ex or even any woman YOU chose to get into a relationship with...
Relentlessly blaming women for YOUR problems.
If you're doing one or both of those, no matter WHO you're talking to, friends, family, or dates, you WILL find yourself not being liked by the majority of real quality women.
You wouldn't want women to complain about their ex boyfriends or lump guys into the "all men are assholes" category, or refuse to take responsibility for their actions and choices, so do NOT do it yourself.
It's not worth it. It's counter-productive. It's not healthy.
It's extremely unattractive, annoying, and petty.
NEVER talk shit about your ex especially if you have bad feelings for her.
NEVER compare the girl you’re dating (or want to date) to your ex unless you’re doing everything within your power to avoid dating someone like her, but even that should only happen in your head.
If you must, go ahead and talk about her a little with your guy friends but only in private.
Keep it to a bare minimum and look for the signs from them that they are getting sick of listening to you bitch about her. Make sure they are not enabling you to too.
NEVER bitch, whine, or complain about your past experiences with women to another potential date.
The past bounces off of you.
You CAN handle worse things than this, you have before, therefore you’ve got this easy one covered.
THAT is the attitude you want.
If the past comes up, just say, “It didn’t work out.” and end it right there.
You see it’s not that you’ve made a past mistake which tells her you might not be a viable option in her current dating life, it’s the mere fact you won’t let it or possibly other things go.
So in reality, you're not talking about your ex, you're telling her (or more importantly what she hears) is that if she dates you and things go bad, you'll probably talk shit about her too.
AND no woman of any real value or in her right mind would give you a second date knowing that bit of information.
You're also revealing to others that you're more into the blame game and are not willing to take responsibility in your life which is a very un-attractive trait to have and REAL girls just won't like you for it.
Be honest with yourself.
No one MADE you date your ex.
YOU made that choice so get over it and move on.
Use it to look for someone better and to avoid making the same mistake again.
Be and stay objective.
All that stays in your head, or a private journal, or with your therapist, or in the comment section anywhere here at DiaLteG™ where it belongs when you're dealing with any new women in your life.
There's GOOD news here...
If she really was a bitch, then you know EXACTLY what to look for so you can do your absolute best and avoid it with the next one.
There's BAD news too...
WHY didn't you see it coming?
What didn't click in your head that told you it wasn't going to work out?
What made you overlook some obvious character flaws in her personality that made you go for it or put up with it anyways?
Was it the sex? Her looks?
These are questions you need to answer right now to figure out where this unfortunate mouth vomit about your ex comes from, and until you do, I fear it will continually haunt you and ruin your chances with an amazing woman.
Again, be objective and figure it out.
Learn to qualify the next one better and more attractively so you can put this whole bullshit affair in your past... forever.
This post will show you how:
Use that past experience to make your dates more fun and less of a bitch-fest. You’ll be much more attractive in her eyes when she senses this strength in you she'll begin to wonder and consider...
"WHY would another woman dare to let a great guy like you go?"
That's a key angle to look at all this from:
Instead of bringing up the past and living there, get the NEXT woman to see just how crazy she'd be let a guy like you go.
I'm not saying to make her act all tentative or worried, just get her feeling like you're different, unique, special, attractive, and a guy she wants in her life more often than not.
Here's some great stuff from a master of dating and relationships, Scot McKay which can help you eliminate this problem forever...
Different girl… Same Relationship! Is It Happening To You Again?
Does that ring a bell? In other words, you keep breaking up with women (or getting broken up with BY them) but history keeps repeating itself.
You may even have started believing ALL women are the same, and you’re ready to give up the fight.
Or how about this?
You really, seriously DO have a woman in your life who you’d love to make plans with for the future, but you honestly have NO idea where you stand.
You’re not even sure you TRUST her, let alone know what’s going on in her head.
You don’t want to let something so potentially great with her slip away, but you just don’t have the answers to make things right with her.
Now, you may be in a relationship at this time, but it’s even BETTER if you aren’t yet.
Either way, my newly-released program Get Together, Stay Together is for YOU.
If you’re like the vast majority of men out there, you want a great girlfriend. One who’s a genuine “keeper”.
Sweet, kind-hearted, fun and so sexy she’s NSFW.
You want a woman who “gets” you. You want to trust each other, communicate naturally and make life BETTER for each other by being together.
EVERYTHING on how to make that kind of relationship happen and KEEP it going strong is in Get Together, Stay Together.
It’s 100% complete, like a one-stop resource for how to have the ultimate long term relationship.
It’s certainly the one with the most potential for satisfaction, even in a world where so many experience so much misery in relationships:
Gentlemen, TOO many guys blow it with the wrong women.
Hell, just as many guys blow it with the RIGHT woman, which is heavy to even think about it.
Get Together, Stay Together is your absolute best insurance policy against ever having to tell the sad story of “the one who got away”.
And it’s a whole lot better an investment than future divorce court:
Scot McKay at DiaLteG™ on relationships:
Today's article is just one part of a whole new series.
Read the one and only guide to finding out why you always fuck it up with women!
Closely related posts to help you get over her and move on:
- Do You Have The Balls To Blow That Hot Girl Off? Should You? Dating Problems
- Enough About Nice Guys and Bad Boys, What about Bad Girls?
- Being Single is Just as Good! Do You Need a Girlfriend To Be Happy?
- Why Women Break Up With Men – Dating Disasters & How To Fix It
- How to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend – Recovering From a Break-up
- Have You Ever Dated A Double-Standard Chick?
- How Do You Know If You’ll Make A Good Couple, Become Exclusive Or Not?