I want to say first off that I am really grateful for your advice and guidance. Over the past few months I have effected complete transformation owing in no small part to your steps. I now am not beholden to the whims of she who once rejected my assignations.
I don't feel much attraction towards her anymore and I am SO GLAD my oneitis is cured you have no idea how nice it is to look back and cringe at my whelping.
I have a question to ask you regarding the PUA community. I have just become aware of their exploits and methodology; after watching a documentary on some PUAs I became intrigued. I wondered what opinions you had on the whole thing?
Any opinions and advice on how to handle this body of knowledge would be appreciated!
Great to hear of your progress and I appreciate you letting me know I have helped you. It's always good to know guys ARE getting it.
Quite honestly I don't have too many strong opinions on the PUA community.
The way I see it is, good guys will use what they learn for good.
Men who are a little weaker may in fact find a way to exploit women.
There's always a bad side of everything and luckily they are usually in the minority.
I have struggled a few times to hold back and not use what I know for bad and have mostly come out clean. Mostly...I've gone down that road a few times I just didn't go so far down I would regret my action entirely.
Carlos Xuma is a very smart man. No doubt about it.
Carlos also has, so I've been told, done a few things in his life (with women) he may not feel good about.
But again it's a temptation very few of us can resist.
I believe the core of what Carlos teaches is valuable material which never aims to exploit women.
Unfortunately there's always going to be some guy who finds a way to use helpful information to hurt others.
The "body of knowledge" you talk about, or the first group of PUAs got what they wanted. They didn't expect it to become such good business or a way to sell what they were learning.
They probably didn't expect it to work so well for them either and they certainly didn't care to predict that it would leave many of them without any solid long-term relationships to look back on.
Of course this has been going on since the dawn of man.
They were, generally speaking, smart men who saw patterns and developed systems based on a probable social world and every generation has had their share of PUAs, they were just called something else.
My advice is to always start with solid values for yourself and do your best to stick to them no matter what new skills you have developed which may be used to exploit women.
Don't expect yourself to always be perfect.
Don't expect you'll always make the right decision.
Just make sure you always find your way back honorably and deal with the situations you create in the highest way possible.
What lots of those guys teach on the outer game does work for a percentage of women, that's been proven.
How you USE the information is what it really comes down to and no one can make that choice for you.
Only YOU can take responsibility for your actions.
Try not to fall for quick fixes or instant results.
Avoid the "magic potions" some teach and you'll find lots of what is being taught is very similar and works best in the long-term; which centers around always starting and building a mature man inside you who tries to complete himself first.
In other words...
"You'll have more to give of yourself if you work to build more of yourself."
Again what the real PUA's teach does in fact work and here's why...
It has been built on the primary system of how attraction works and how you can use social situations to your advantage and not let it become a disadvantage.
Which unfortunately is where most guys fail.
They just don't understand the social dynamics of the situation they find themselves in and how much it has to do with the many aspects of attraction.
What they teach is also designed for guys who are looking to achieve "game."
For whatever their reasons are, you're NOT going to find many who were like me buying "their" material unless they're looking to explore the other side.
I didn't want "game."
I just wanted to attract women and explore my life and accidentally met David DeAngelo who was a perfect for for me.
I wasn't interested in picking up women.
I was just sick and tired of being alone.
I was frustrated sexually and tired of how clueless I was when it came to connecting with women in a way which would get me a girlfriend.
I opted for the other choice and through that I learned some valuable information.
During that process I glanced to the "other side" and I saw the similarities.
Then one day it hit me...
Attraction happens naturally when you take care of the details and those details vary from men to men and what type of women they are looking for.
For example - The Neg.
A light insult wrapped in the package of a complement. Used by pick-up artists to gain and maintain the attention of women who possess uncommon beauty
I always busted my friend's asses on everything they did. We spent a lot of time joking around with each other.
In fact, the closer the friend you have the more dirty you can get with them because they're your friends, right?
But you wouldn't dare do that to a woman you barely knew.
That's just plain rude.
But when you refuse to do that you're only telling a woman she's on a pedestal and fragile. Like she couldn't handle a good ribbing.
You're actually trying to raise her standards above yours but you're really just telling her she's weak at the same time.
When you act inconsistent and your attitude is non-congruent with who you are - you will struggle getting the women who can handle a little ball busting.
The Neg, when used "improperly" only works on very insecure women.
The Neg, or busting someone's ass, and your own too, works better naturally and as a side effect of the fun-loving guy inside you.
The guy who doesn't believe all women are fragile and can't handle it.
The guy who doesn't raise her status higher than his just because she's beautiful.
The guy who can take just as much bullshitting as he can give.
A fully secure man whose confident and cool about some of his "weaknesses" and who understands lighthearted humor will naturally "neg" women anyways without even trying.have to try.
Attraction is merely a wonderful side-effect to a fascinating and "attractive" personality.
Keep up the good work and congratulations on seeking a new level in your relationships with women. It's awesome man.
Trust me, you've done more for yourself and for the women you're going to meet than some men only dream about.
Thanks for writing man and always remember to find fun in everything you do even if it's learning how to attract women.
For those interested here are two of the PUA's who became famous and wrote about it:
- The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists - Written by Neil Strauss - Amazon link.
- The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed - Written by Mystery on Amazon.